Aware, non-judgmental, lucid presence to what is right here, right now. Because that’s our old habit–grabbing a thought like a kite grabs the wind and flying away with it-but when we train in being mindful, we’re trying a new habit on for size: a mindfulness habit.Īnother difference between “meditation mindful” and “everyday mindful” is that in the first one, we’re entirely focused on the present. We learn to remain aware of when we drift away and get caught up in thoughts that are anywhere but right here and right now. No hocus-pocus, no striving to rid ourselves of those pesky thoughts or that annoying itch. What mindfulness means is that we are conscious, right here, right now, of what’s going on with those sounds, or the wind, or physical sensations, or the breath-and we’re not doing anything about it!!! We’re aware, pure and simple. Instead of getting the colors, textures or words just right, meditating mindfully is all about the process. In what way is mindfulness as a meditation practice different from the attention required when choosing the right tie, scarf or phrasing? For one thing, the goal is a bit different. We can actually choose to be aware of just about anything-sounds, the wind, our physical sensations, our thoughts, and so on-and if we do it with purpose and focus, right here, right now, well, that’s the very definition of mindfulness. What does it mean to be mindful in the context of mindfulness meditation? It means that we’re paying particularly close attention to an object of our choice, often the breath. It’s the exact same “mindful” as when we talk about mindfulness. You’re on a diet, so you’re vigilant about everything you eat. Your annual performance review is coming up, and you’re paying particularly close attention to every last detail at work. You’ve got a plane to catch at noon so you’re especially aware of the time this morning.
So what does it mean to “be mindful,” exactly? In our daily lives, the meaning of mindful has to do with paying attention. But thanks to the focus on the demands of the present, this novel concept is also readily adaptable to the dynamic environment of interpersonal and inter-group relationships.Mindful is just what you’d think, kind ofīe mindful of the time, mindful of your language, mindful of how much those groceries cost, mindful of where you put your feet-being mindful was part of our everyday language long before mindfulness became a thing. In research, social mindfulness has shown to be related to personality factors like honesty-humility and agreeableness. Basically, taking the unique option limits the other's choice, which is not a prosocial thing to do. For example, one yellow and three blue baseball caps, one green versus two red apples, and so on. An important feature is that the available products to choose from are always identical, except for one that is slightly different. This first person logically determines what will remain for the second person, a situation that provides the initial chooser with opportunities to be socially mindful or not. The SoMi paradigm that we developed and tested to measure social mindfulness builds on situations like the one depicted in the example above where two people each may choose between various products, but one person must always do so first. In all, social mindfulness or social hostility resides in the many small decisions we have to make in the majority of our daily social interactions - like choosing which piece of pie to take. But if they consistently show not to be mindful of others (by limiting their choice, for example), they may very well be socially hostile, which is the flip side of social mindfulness (see Van Lange & Van Doesum, 2015). If people do not notice the option of being socially mindful, however, they are unlikely to act socially mindful beyond chance. The kind of prosocial behavior we associate with social mindfulness requires that people both see what others may want, and act accordingly so it's a two-step process. What to do? This calls for social mindfulness!īeing socially mindful, then, is simply being mindful of others. It involves a ‘social mind’ that recognizes the needs and wishes that other people may have in the present moment. If the first person who chooses wants to be nice, she takes the lemon meringue, so her friend still has different kinds of cake to choose from taking the carrot cake would in fact limit her friend’s choice. As it turns out, the cafe has only three pieces of cake left to choose from: Two slices of lemon meringue and one of carrot cake. Imagine a situation in which two friends enter a cafe and decide to have something sweet with their coffee.
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